Now the advertising executive was more subtil than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath not God said, Ye shall not have use of every plant of the garden?

And the woman said unto the advertising executive, We may eat of the fruit of the plants of the garden:

But of the leaf of the plant which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not smoke
of it, neither shall ye
touch it, lest ye die

And the advertising executive said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:

For God doth know that in the day ye smoke thereof, then your elegance shall be known, and ye shall be as gods, being exceeding sexy.

And when the woman saw that the plant was good to smoke, and that it was pleasant to the nose, and a plant to be desired to make one sexy, she took of the leaf thereof, and did smoke, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did smoke.

And they heard the voice of Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God amongst the trees of the garden.

And the Lord God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where are thou? And Adam did betray his hiding place with a cough.

And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid; and I hid myself.

And he said, Wherefore wast thou afraid? Hast thou smoked of the plant, whereof I commanded thou shouldest not smoke?

And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the plant, and I did smoke.

And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The advertising executive beguiled me, and I did smoke.

And the Lord God said unto the advertising executive, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, yea, though they have BSE, and above every beast of the field; upon thy packaging shalt thou display my words, and at no sporting events shalt thou ply thy craft all the days of thy life.

And the Lord God said, Behold, the man is become unclean, and the woman: and now, lest they smoke in our presence, and we be possessed of passive smoking:

Therefore the Lord God drove them forth from the Garden of Eden, and did cause them to smoke in no public place, and did greatly multiply their sorrow.